Since when did “It’s OK, it’s perfectly normal” become such a coveted phrase? Since when did the hitherto banal word spelt “n.o.r.m.a.l” sound so damn gratifying? Since when did a state of “normality” become necessary to keep me sane at the very least? Since 4 years ago. Since I became a mum. Since now.
Normal adj 1. Usual; regular; typical
Norm n A standard that is required, desired, or regarded as normal
Normalise vb To bring into conformity with a standard
You’ll have to forgive me but this is somewhat of an epiphany to me [this strange woman is clearly anything but normal and has far too much time on her hands]. I’ve not had reason to consider it before. Why would I? As a teenager growing up, I was a little bit nuts. A Chinese Undergrad with rainbow hairdo’s, crazy dress-sense & off-the-wall boyfriends, I was at ease with my non-conventional, non-conformist “self”. One could say I slightly, maybe, possibly, even bordered on a little bit cool?
But then this teenager grew up and she…I….decided to make babies.
Is it normal to remain in unchartered depths of despair and worthlessness for two days minimum at a negative test [oh and how could she forget, on a monthly basis]? Is it normal to lie legs up & perfectly still for as long as humanly possible post coition to ensure those baby-mobiles have the best chance of getting laid? Is it normal to freak out hysterically at every twinge/ twang / abnormal pang with bump on board? Is it normal to blindly believe in & continue to indiscriminately eat for two when you are bored of hearing that it’s just a myth? Is it normal to want your mum in there with you at crunch time? Is it normal to be terrified? Is it normal? Apparently it is.
And Thank Goodness for that.
Faced with the insecurity of parenthood, I am no longer alone. My fears are part of a greater commonality. The greatest commonality in the world.
This is massive.