Children & babies · General parenting · Home and Family · Working mum

Baby Brain Breakdown

Today I needed rescuing.

Day two of my first working week post baby. And already I needed rescuing.

It has it’s advantages. Being a woman in a man’s world. But not so when your recently deflated baby-boobs are bobbing beneath your belly-button and your small-talk consists solely of baby babble followed by: “Did I show you the latest picture of my little one?” [Cue slide-show on the i-phone]. Yes. You did. A thousand times already.

And certainly not so advantageous when you unwittingly declare your undying love to an unassuming and, needless to say, unenthusiastic client. Yes you got it. This lucky guy was on the receiving end of the telephone receiver receiving a rather regretful goodbye.

It was great to catch up,

Let’s pick up where we left off,

I’ll be in touch,

I love you.


Love you? I just said that. [This is not normal]. I really just said that. [Please tell me no-one heard]. Fuck me, I most definitely said that. [This is so not normal].

As I turn a whiter shade of pale or rather a pinker shade of lobster, I fear this will not go down in history as one of my more admirable moments. Sure enough, sugary words and a token “x” go a long way to sweeten a deal but proclamations of the big “L” most certainly don’t buy favours in this game. Any degree of credibility I might have had once upon a time had just been obliterated in three short words. Forget “lost in translation”. There are no misunderstandings where “I Love You” is concerned.

Thank the Lord for IM. No sooner had the three most coveted words  in the English language left my lips [note: not even is my one-and-only party to them often], had an IM offering profuse apologies and prattling excuses passed from freshly manicured finger-tips to phone.

Baby Brain!

It’s all down to Baby Brain!

And apparently this type of behaviour is normal nonetheless!

Praise be the genius who invented the now to be much-abused-by-me cliche that is “Baby Brain”. You just hoisted this mama out of a rather large hole. How many more unfortunate mishaps can I blame on Baby Brain? What time-scale do I have before Baby Brain’s efficacy wears thin and I’m on my own again?

Thank Goodness I only work a two-day week.

Does my scale of normality mean anything to you?

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