Happy April Fool’s Day to all you old Fools out there. Another ludicrous day to mark something or other ridiculous. With its origins dating all the way back to the 14th Century, apparently April Fool’s Day is good for one’s health – a tonic to encourage laughter, diminish stress and reduce the strain on one’s heart. That would be for all of 24 hours. And then it’s back to normal Folks – we can carry on being miserable buggers. Phew.
Personally, I don’t buy it. Should we really need a designated day to engage in stupendously silly antics in a desperate attempt to coax ourselves out of the doom and gloom for a few hours? Should we really require a specifically allocated day on which to play practical jokes on the rest of the population (all of whom are prepped up and ready to be in on the joke anyway), simply in order to make ourselves feel better for a brief interlude? The answer is NO bloody way. Or at least, that would have been my answer, until today.
OK, admittedly I did wake up this morning praying that it was not really 6am, that the baby’s cries were really reminiscent of a fox, creeping stealthily underneath my window on the hunt for a mate and more importantly, that my Beloved hadn’t really abandoned me with the three Terror Tots for “only 3 days Dear” (no, actually, it’s 3 nights and 4 days to be exact), while he ski’d off into the sunset, up high on “powder” and booze. Admittedly, I did wake up this morning and WISH IT WAS ALL A GDDAM APRIL FOOL’S JOKE. But sadly, upon turning over to see the cold, empty space beside me and the increasing decibel level threatening to burst the sodding monitor, I realised this was no bloody hoax.
There was no sweet, sensitive person in my life playing any joke on me this morning. There was no compassionate, caring soul allowing me the blessing of a false truth today, yesterday or the day before in fact. And no, there was no beloved Other Half to wake me up today with, “April Fool Honey – it was all a joke! I’m back to rescue you after what was really 2 nights/3 days and not 3 nights/4 days after all! Hilarious hey?” Hilarious indeed. Do you see me laughing? Not a single bit. And so here we are, nearing the end of what could have been a real hoot of a day. Ha bloody ha. Next year, the joke’s on HIM.