It was the end of the Summer Holidays and Thank The Lord, Mummy had survived yet another six week stint of Hell. Correction: Mummy did more than simply “survive,” she breezed it and proudly came away brandishing the T-shirt. In fact, Mummy was so busy engaging in wholesome activities, such as baking, crafting and imaginative play, that she barely batted an eye at what the world around her (AKA her 489 Facebook friends, 375 of whom she no longer recognises), was doing on social media. And so mindful was she towards #makingmemories with her own children, that she scarcely even lifted up her phone for a sneaky scroll through everybody else’s #perfectlives. Honest.
Needless to say, Mummy simply didn’t have time to put pen to paper this holiday, hence why you’ve not heard from her in a while. However, what she did have time for, was a fair amount of reflection, in particular whilst lying awake at night, trying to come up with creative ideas for irresistible and innovative sandwich fillings. And having dedicated six weeks of her life pandering to her precious ones with packed lunches, picnics and parks and making countless promises and threats only to break them all, Mummy was catapulted into making some decisions. Some rather large decisions, surrounding onerous things such as adulthood, parenting and life. Decisions that she had been procrastinating over for far too long. This was big news. Mummy was about to make some serious changes. Besides, what better way to end a holiday period, than by making some life-changing, New Year-esque resolutions to get stuck into?
Mummy had enrolled on a course.
Now, I hear you say, this is not the first time that Mummy has enrolled on a course. Mummy has indeed enrolled on a variety of courses over the years, from Person Centred Counselling to Advanced Mandarin (for Mentalists), only for extraneous things such as babies and life to get in the way. So what was so significant about this time? For one, Mummy has since committed a small fortune upfront to fund this life-changing decision, so there simply is no option to “opt out”. Secondly, this curriculum takes flexible learning to the Nth degree, so there is absolutely no excuse not to find the time to make it work. And finally, whilst Mummy had accepted that there is never a “right time” to make any big changes, intuitively now was the right time for her. So what the hell was she waiting for? This particular course may or may not make her. It may or may not become her vocation, her future or her life’s work. But this time, she wasn’t worried.
For Mummy had stumbled upon a shocking truth. Having harped on for years about her loss of identity, her lack of complete fulfilment, her search for #more and her plight as FTM: Slave to the Home, she discovered with total clarity, her own accountability in all of this. She was responsible for it all! Mummy had allowed herself to become consumed with everything and everyone else in her life, except her own sodding #self! She’d become a victim of her own fears, insecurities, complacency and guilt. And by default, she had been carrying “this” around with her as baggage, dragging it unwittingly into every interaction and every communication she had with herself, her friends, her husband and her kids. Like a dense grey rain cloud, it hovered ominously above her wherever she went, and it was only a matter of time before the storm erupted.
But Thank Goodness for that, it was the end of the Summer Holidays and there was no rain on the horizon. Mummy was able to compartmentalise the demands of The Terrors for once, and pissed off shopping for multi-coloured pens and chunky notepads with slogans such as “Boss Girl” and “Live for Today” emblazoned all over them. She had finally woken up to the fact that change was long overdue. Now was her #timetoshine, to create the “outlet” she so desperately required in order to move forward positively and thereby enhance her relationship with herself and those around her. If she was able to satisfy her own needs effectively and in her own time, be that on an intellectual, emotional or even superficial basis, then surely she would become a better person (and by default a more gracious cook, cleaner, chauffeur, teacher, entertainer, artist, counsellor, partner, confidante, friend and anything else required of the #perfect, #wellbalanced mother and wife)?
Mummy is on a (cliché alert) #journey, so if you are curious to follow her into what is potentially the #nextchapter of her life, then please follow her @apparentlythisisnormal. All is yet to unfold.